.....and yet another reason I hate Walmart....

....and old people scare me......

Why do I insist on doing things I know are wrong? Today....I went to Walmart. WRONG!! I hate Walmart. It is the nastiest store on the face of the earth, except for maybe J&R's grocery over in Haltom City....which smells like old goat cheese when you walk in. So, for some reason I can only attribute to karma...I go to Walmart to get my parents an anniversary card. Why not Target, Walgreens, CVS? Hell, I don't know. (well, I actually do...and it has to do with Gretchen Wilson...so I'd rather not talk about it).

So, with love in my heart, there I am walking up the row in the parking lot (I usually park way out so I can get some exercise on the way in.). Then.... grandma backs up and WHAM!! hits me. No....Not my car....my bodily person. She THEN starts looking around to see what the noise was. It was ME doing a Dukes of Hazzard move across the trunk of you car. Well, stunned....I keep walking toward the store, muttering "Oh My God" over and over again. Then I hear her driving up behind me. My first thought was to run.....run.....run like your hair is on fire. I look back only to see this huge dent across the front of her car.....presumably from her last victim. She pulls up to apologize. I think she was just scared she was going to be sent back to Shady Pines.

THEN I get in the store and some old dude rams me with his shopping cart. AND after he hit me says "excuse YOU." My nostrils flaired, but I kept my composure.

I spy a blue smock that says "How May I Help You?" Protect Me!!!! They're after me! Unplug all the round-a-bout scooters....they'll just run me down!

Ok....jump forward to my next stop...I come walking out of Best Buy and even though I had right of way stopped. I sensed another grandma. And sure enough this one was FLYING along in a mini van. Geez! Close call. If I had stepped one more step, by my calculations, she would still be dragging me under her van.....we'd be passing Garden Ridge about now.

I keep thinking these people have karma to look forward to. But then realize maybe all this was about my karma. What horrific thing have I done to be chased down all day long by the Geritol Brigade?