My, don't you look nice today!

I'm trying to be extra nice today, and be a blessing to all around me! So I am telling everyone "my, don't you look nice today." (like Eddie Haskell) I'm just having to be careful and catch them on the way to the bathroom or something, I don't want them to overhear me telling other people the same thing....and make them feel less special.

What's up with people IM'ing you and asking "what are you wearing?" Geez. Even if I concentrated really hard and focused on south-of-the-border, the thought of someone sitting at their computer in undies, or less, doesn't do a dern thing for me.

This morning I looked out of the shower just long enough to see my b/f with my rotary clippers shoved up his nose trimming nose hairs. I USE THESE TO TRIM MY UPPER LIP! If my facial hair gets to close around my mouth, I mess with it all day long, making Jim Carey faces. But Lord knows what else has been in my mustache, and I didn't even know it. Gag. I'm glad I don't have to kiss me.

I have this ritual (that's a much nicer word than some) that when I come out of the bathroom at work, I check my zipper again. I do it inside the bathroom also. I don't know why I perform this ritual again when I come out the door. Well, today I come face to face with someone....and where is my hand.... How embarrassing.
I have four colognes I just LOVE....Ralph Lauren Romance Silver, Estee Lauder Pleasures, Estee Lauder Beyond Paradise, and Christian dior Fahrenheit. Today I borrowed one to wear...Joop Jump. It ain't right. It smells like a cigar shop. If I still wore contacts, they would be burning (that's how I used to gage what colognes I liked, the ones that didn't give me a pounding headache and teary,red eyes). I'm ready to go and wash it off with handtowels in the bathroom. I don't know if I can smell this all day.

All the colognes I wear are men's. (thank you very little....now, undies is a different story...j/k, silky feeling stuff grosses me out, just like pruney fingers do) It's funny, all the lesbians I know wear men's cologne, but none of the gay men wear perfumes. What's that about? Everytime I have a new cologne on, the lady beside me wants to run out and get her girlfriend the same cologne. I just find that interesting. Hmmmm.

I had just about decided to get a haircut. I thought growing it out would make me look younger. I've had an epipheny: It doesn't. Problem: the guy up here that is always copying me just got his cut, and I will NOT copy him. It would throw off the entire balance in the world. I do like the way the back kinda is curly and flips up, but that is SOOO last season (last season of Queer Eye, that is). Last night I put a twist-tie in the top ofmy hair (believe me...that's not weird for me) like a little bow. I was called Bam-Bam. Ok, I don't like to nit-pick (ok, that's a gross word....is that like monkeys picking nits--fleas?), but would that not be Pebbles, not Bam Bam? Just like the time my ex-boyfriend said he had eyebrows like Ernie.....well, actually, Ernie has no eyebrows, but Bert has a uni-brow. Am I the only one that checks the facts before I make statements?) Anyway....I hate decisions.

Ok, my mom just almost freaked me out. She forward me one of those emails where you fill out questions "20 things about me" I was thinking , "ok, I do NOT want to know these things about you, mother." Not a problem, she forwarded it completely blank with no answers. Sad part is....I am her son, and would SO do that also. I have a blonde soul.