work stuff

Ok. The next job interview I go on, when they ask if I have any questions, I'm gonna say "Oh, yes!"

"Do you reuse rubberbands?"

I HATE reusing rubberbands. And, yet that is the only thing in our supply drawer. (everytime I hear the word supplies, I think about the joke about the little Japanese soldier jumping out and screaming "supppliiiieeesss."). They break. They hurt. Everytime I am fixing to use a rubberband, I can feel myself wince in anticipation.

And everyone around me laughs. They say everytime they hear a rubberband break, or see a broken one coming flying from my desk, they know they are about to hear "dadgummit" followed by other muffled comments meant for no one else's ears.

I'd do like I did with the highlighters....I went out and bought the cutest little set of my very own....but housekeeping would probably just steal those too. Oh, I was hot. I went on patrol around the building to see if I spied them. Ok, I'm getting mad again just thinking about it...change the subject.

I was just reading medical records on this guy that received Viagra and a video from his Dr. (I didn't mention a name, so I am well within HIPAA regulations). Ok, if you are old enough to need Viagra, and yet need a video on what to do.....do you really need it after all?

There is a guy beside me at work that clips his fingernails which drives me nuts. Can he not do that while he is spending an hour in the bathroom reading the sports section in the morning? Oh, or here's an idea....DO IT ALL AT HOME. The thing he REALLY does that drives me nuts: every day at 10:00 sharp, after getting that 15 minutes of work done subsequent to the bathroom break, he eats yogurt. The sound of the "scrape scrape scrape" of the spoon on the bottom of the yogurt container makes me nuts. Where is people's work ethic? (of course I am sitting here writing this, but that 's beside the point...)

The lady on the other side of me is moving (homes, not her personal being....well I guess she is moving that too since she's at lunch), and having to call all of the utility people to bless them out. It's stressing me....stress-by-association. I finally put my ear buds in to block it out ("make it go awayyyy.") I realized later I still had them in, no music, and just overall being a gimp. Duh. Reminds me of when I had Lasik. They give you these sexy-ass goggles to wear at night so you don't rub your eyes and pull your cornea's off or something. You have to wear them for three nights. Well, on the sixth night I realized I was still putting them on every night out of habit. Again.....duh.

Last but not least. Someone was telling me that I was not very nice (which is SOOOO not true), I think it's just because I laugh at people (but never anything I wouldn't laugh about to their face, or about myself even). They said that is why I don't have a smiley face by my nameplate like everyone else (I swear, I think there are more "smiley face" names on the bulletin board than there are people that work here....and yet not me. Screw 'em) . Well, this one girl was saying "your like....." and goes on describing me in (inaccurate) detail. When she was finished, I told her she had just described Helga from Hey Arnold, and I didn't appreciate it. Then we laughed. (people up here get their jollies from being cruel to each other)

Gotta love it.