this one's for the scarf

Last night I went to my kid's band concert. It always amazes me at how many people mill around and get in your way while you are watching. As my Sweetie would tell our dog "ok...pop a squat." It's like watching the extras from The Stepford Wives mill about. And, of course I'm sitting there thinking "If my hair looked like that, hun, I'd find a secluded corner to sit in and quit parading about like a donkey on parade."

(I always find it funny how when I say "my kids" a lot of people ask "are you a teacher?" No....just a former breeder, there are a lot of us out there. Those gays!)

My mother found me at the concert and sat beside me. Bless her heart, I DO NOT like her perfume she wears now. I long for the days of Beautiful. Or, hell, even Gorgio (although, to me, it smells like it's covering Vodka breath...I think it was Kitty Dukakis' fave...no, wait that was Oscar de la Renta...it covers the rubbing alcohol smell). For Christmas I got her some Beyond Paradise....it's not what she wants but what I want for her. Some people have to be poked and prodded into having better taste.

And...bless her heart, she bathed in the perfume she had on last night. My sinuses slammed shut like a beartrap....even before the first clarinet squeaked out of tune (ok....they KNOW they are going to be in a concert, it's not the time to be chinzy with reed). So....there I was holding my breath with my eyes watering. Couldn't get worse.....until the Nutcracker Suite started. My mom felt the need to name off the nationality of each dance as the music began. By the third one I was ready to mouth "I don't care" to her (because I, unlike her, don't talk during performances). But I didn't want to steal her glory, so I just rode it out.

I did have to tell her last night "oh, little closed minded woman" at one time. Those foreigners....gotta love 'em. Well...her at least...she's my momma.

Speaking of my momma.... She calls me at work today about something real random and talks for like 10 minutes. Typically when I call her about something important, I can barely finish the first sentence and she's like "ok, goodbye" click. Many a time I have stood there with my mouth hanging open thinking "I KNOW I was not just dis'd by my momma!"

Randomness (like that wasn't already):

What is up with all the old people on the road lately? Did they start a new open-door policy at the Old Folks' Home? And...why do they feel the need to drive slow in the left lane on the highway. As I pass and glare, I picture my parents driving the car....and feel HORRIBLE. But it passes and I want to ram their asses into the median.

Why is it they run you over at the mall, knocking all the Gap bags and AE totes outta your hands, while they are speed-walking....and yet drive like they have died and are rolling to a stop?

More random:

I thought my hair looked really good today. Then I started to worry that it looked more like I was President of the Hair Club for men. Then someone at work told me that my hair looked great today ( wasn't even fishing...she just offered it up). I felt good for about 5 minute. Then I looked at her hair and started to worry. I keep wanting to ask her if she thinks her looks great too....give me something to gauge the compliment by.

But it's Friday (praise Jebus), and me and my baby havin' Vegan Tacos for din-din....life don't get much better than this. :)

(you owe me a scarf picture...I'm just paying it forward)